Proof of Intelligent Design?

I'm an absolute atheist. A deeply spiritual one, but a hard-core evolutionist and atheist. The concept of one, all-knowing, patriarchal deity designing, creating, guiding and governing the entire, unending universe just seems beyond silly too me.

As a young queer child, growing up in the bowels of Midwest America I was at times subjected to Sunday school brainwashing. But, I was always skeptical. Fifteen years prior to my first man-on-man sex acts, I was shocked and offended that God destroyed all of Sodom and Gomorrah just because some men hit on one of the angels sent down to them. Seemed like an over-reaction to me, even at the age of 8. Maybe the angel was hot, maybe he didn't really mind so much!

And what's with the test of Abraham to sacrifice his child at an altar to prove his loyalty to the divine creator. Sure, it was all called off at the last minute, and God told him it was just a test, only a test (like some biblical Emergency Broadcast System announcement). But what if God had been distracted at that last critical moment? What if Satan had decided to yank his chain at that one moment and Abraham did actually sacrifice his beloved son? "Ooops, sorry, I had another call coming in..." doesn't quite seem to do it.

Old testament folktales like these used to drive me nuts as a child. Early on I was a Doubting Thomas, then an agnostic, and eventually an atheist. [By the way: agnostics always remind me of college-age bisexuals. It's like being gay but you're not ready to come out, so it's safer to say your bisexual. If you're agnostic, take the plunge, you're just a really optomestic atheist who's still kind of in denial.]

Anyway. The point is, I'm firmly in the non-believer camp. Evolution: yes. Intelligent design: total bullshit. Intelligent Design again, is kind of like being bisexual. You understand the concept of evolution and the beginning of the universe makes total, infallible sense to you. But you can't quite let go of the poppa-God-made-all-of-this-for-us fable. You blame it on quarks and string theory. And the fact that if we are descended from a primate ancestor, why are Koko the sign language speaking gorilla and many other chimpanzees actually smarter than President Bush? More compassionate and more comely than Barbara Bush? Better at driving cars than Laura Bush?

Well, that brings me back to my main point! I am willing to re-examine my belief systems, IF Hurricane Rita miraculously jumps pass all of the poor folk in her path and makes a bee-line for Crawford, Texas.

If Hurricane Rita rips the fuck out of Crawford Ranch: if every scrap of wood off of that cracker mansion and every pile of accumulated brush is flung at least 40 miles away; if Bush loses his rubber band collection, his favorite bong and his stash of coke; if the nudie photos of Condoleeza Rice and George W in compromised positions are blown over to the nearest AP office; if every blemish of the existence of his home is wiped away as some type of retributive justice for his criminal neglect and his lying to start unjust wars which have cost so many, many lives...

Well. Then maybe I'll pause and begin to re-think of the power of prayer and the benevolence of Intelligent Design.